


satellite heart

by byeolbit



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, High Fashion AU, M/M, polyamory and open relationships, secret romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2019-11-04 07:57:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17894537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byeolbit/pseuds/byeolbit
Summary: Wonshik, Taekwoon and Hakyeon weave in and out of each other’s lives. It resembles the way the third star orbits the binary stars in a triple star system and Wonshik wonders what would happen to him if his satellite heart should fall out of the field of gravity.





	1. stars versus fireworks

**Author's Note:**

> [master thread of looks and music](https://twitter.com/poojamk15/status/1099289645567934464)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> True stars don’t fizzle out like fireworks do.

Even the adrenaline rush is rehearsed at this point. Wonshik can hear the sound of people filling into the auditorium and how the crowd is cheering when their beloved celebrities walk onto the red carpet. 

On days when he is extremely bored, he tries to discern the fanchants and which idol is in attendance. On days like this, he feels too disconnected from the world to focus on such trivialities.

The makeup artist applies the highlighter and under the bulb ensemble his cheekbones glow. Wonshik turns his face from side to side to scrutinize his look. The cameras are high definition and the pictures will stay on the internet forever. He can’t be as careless as one pimple ruining the entire look. 

He catches the eye of the model who emerges from the dressing room.

Cha Hakyeon is dressed in ensemble number thirty five for the show. The loose black kaftan hangs off his shoulder, the design open at the chest. The pants are loose, drapey as most magazines will call the piece in their reviews tomorrow, outlined with shredded fabric. The hem is folded in to accentuate the sandals with thin delicate straps.

Hakyeon’s eye makeup is fierce and everything else muted in comparison. His lips are coloured nude rose, a shade Wonshik didn’t know he could carry off with the accentuated bronze complexion. There is highlighter on his clavicle, shining below the necklace he is supposed to wear. A shame all of it is hidden by a lace veil because the man looks beautiful without the accented headgear.

Hakyeon is going to close with the showstopper piece of set number five, followed by Wonshik who will open set six with ensemble number thirty six. A white suit fit for a gothic wedding as is the theme of the show. Satin silk that fits on his torso and pants that flare from his knees. The suit is held together by a chain with motifs that accessorise the veil, the lapel and the buckles on his shoes.

A black rose is added to match because what is Demeulemeester if not dramatic? 

Wonshik stands up, ready to get fitted. They have half an hour before the orderly chaos will start and he prefers avoiding the last minute rush. 

He passes by Hakyeon who casts one glance at him and his neck and nods in approval. The tip of Wonshik’s ears burn in embarrassment as he remembers how Hakyeon gave him a slight hickey there two nights ago on accident and how they thought it would definitely not be gone in time for the show. Wonshik thinks concealers are truly gifts sent from the heaven above.

These thoughts are distractions and pushed aside when the assistant calls everyone to order and announces that there is only five minutes till the show starts. The auditorium is dark and Atrium Carceri starts to play, with white light that turns on as the first model walks. The entire floor is white with seats set up on either side and the gothic church bells reverberate giving the stage a whimsical feeling for the untrained onlooker.

Wonshik waits for his turn, watching Hakyeon watching him be fussed over by the designer as set number five is in progress. Hakyeon turns away with a grin and Wonshik scoffs, pulling his veil over his head. It’s a game they play - seeing who could rattle whom the most before the walk. It should be unsettling but they’ve been doing this too long for them to be rattled by a look or by a glance. If anything, this single silent moment is a bubble of calm in the madness. Hakyeon soothes him more than he fazes him.

Wonshik reconsiders this statement when he walks by Hakyeon on the ramp and is on the end of the seductive glare he saves for the camera. The veil does nothing to hide the fire in his eyes and Wonshik knows that this why age has not gotten the best of Hakyeon unlike other supermodels.

True stars don’t fizzle out like fireworks do.


	2. the closest star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sun is the closest star and yet light minutes away and can never be approached without caution.

The opinion of Jung Taekwoon can make or break careers of designers. This is the truth universally acknowledged in the Seoul fashion world.

The Jung Fashion House is old money, established decades before its competitors and responsible for bringing some of the most well known brands to South Korea. If there is a name you blindly trust for glamour and quality, it is Jung Fashion House.

And the man behind it is the enigmatic Jung Taekwoon.

The presence of this enigma is a feat in the modern day and age, Wonshik thinks. When anyone who is anyone shares the most minute details of their life on Instagram or Twitter, all Taekwoon uses is the fashion house’s website for official updates. The only official sources on his life are the occasional interviews with magazines. 

There are whispers on blogs for the amusement of netizens but nothing is ever official and no one dares to cross one of the most influential chaebols in the city. Taekwoon’s fashion house also dresses the who’s who of other major industries and does it well. It is in their interest to retain his favour.

As a direct consequence of this, Wonshik didn’t know what to expect when he first auditioned for the subsidiary agency to be an in house model. Five years later when he stands next to him at the after party and listens to him explaining the next business steps the company will take and profits anticipated, he still feels the same. The camera flashes away and the person behind the pictures is near yet still far away. The sun is the closest star and yet light minutes away and can never be approached without caution.

Models are just eye candy at the party. His manager insists he attend because it is important to be in the public eye and hence on everyone’s radar. After parties are where designers fawn after the top executives like Taekwoon to get the next show or the next featurette for their designs. Wonshik unfortunately gets to have no fun in terms of people schmoozing him or alcohol, because it bloats him up easily and his next show is tomorrow.

Wonshik thinks he has dilly dallied enough to be polite. Even the dance pop remix doesn't hold his interest. He excuses himself on the pretext of getting another drink. No one notices that the flute of champagne has been full for the past hour. 

He drops the glass of on a table nearby. He exchanges pleasantries with other models and designers, everyone celebrating the successes of the day. Tomorrow the cycle of prep-show-prep-show-interviews-parties will repeat but tonight the wine flows and the fake smiles are free.

His phone chimes once he gets into a cab and gives the directions to his house. It's a small apartment in a well to do neighborhood and despite the neglect by its owner, it serves as a home.

 

_ “You left without saying goodbye.” _

 

There are no requests, questions or hesitation with Taekwoon. He deals with facts and absolute truths. Wonshik feels guilty, but thinks better of it. 

 

_ “Show tomorrow. Need that beauty sleep” _

 

_ “D-Antidote. I remember” _

 

Wonshik smiles. It's back to his street fashion roots tomorrow. He doesn't miss the multiple shifts he worked and the long hours spent in corridors for auditions. But he does miss the comfort of street fashion. The lovely contradiction of looking casual in an setting that has even minute trinkets on the wall set up with care is an inside joke shared with other models.

 

_ “You would look good with long hair.” _

 

Right. Of course. Taekwoon knows. The designs are always reviewed before approval to display. Wonshik idly wonders if the review was through a portfolio of designs or if Taekwoon took the time to terrorize the interns and new models with the gaze that scrutinized every aspect of their appearance along with the design to evaluate its success.

It's the same scrutinizing gaze that Taekwoon gives him every time he is at a fitting or on the ramp. Taekwoon is one of the best editors along with the head of the JFH and his mind is a repository of designs, fabrics, color palettes, accessories, hairstyles and makeup trends that combine to create the look that leaves the glitterati wanting more. 

So when Taekwoon says that he would look good in long hair, Wonshik believes him. He leans his head against the window and feels the whirring of the engine in the vibrations of the glass. He looks at the stars in the sky and the window lights in the office buildings in the complex they are passing through. They remind him of the sparkle in Taekwoon's eyes.

Taekwoon's passion burns with a brightness that can put the sun to shame. 

 

_ “It would look better with your fingers in my hair” _

 

Wonshik wonders how long he has before his wings of wax will melt away from flying too close to the sun.


	3. stardust nebulae

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, light of the brightest but distant stars are obscured by nebulae whose gravity can distort perception by the naked eye.

“You’re basically eye fucking him at this point, I hope you know this” Hongbin says, sipping on a pineapple mocktail that is clearly trying too hard not to be a pina colada and failing. The photographer is relentless, be it snapping away at shoots or sassing his best friend at a yacht party. 

Wonshik rolls his eyes and looks away from where Hakyeon stands. The boat rocks because the waves are unusually rough. But the cloudy weather is a relief from the heat.

“Is everything alright between the two of you and Taekwoon?”

“What?” he asks Hongbin who has been looking at him expectantly.

“Never mind. Just go talk to your not-so-secret lover” Hongbin sighs, waving him away. Wonshik puts his tongue in his cheek and huffs. He isn’t ignoring Hongbin on purpose. But ever since he arrived to the party, Hakyeon has been distant and actively avoiding him.

“Wonshik! Let me refill that empty glass for you” Jaehwan offers, appearing from nowhere. Wonshik blinks and notices that Hongbin has disappeared. Or maybe people have moved normally instead of randomly teleporting and he hasn’t been paying attention at all.

“I’m good. It’s a good party” Wonshik says. His smile is clearly fake and the rough rocking is starting to make him seasick. Or does his motion sickness arise from the velocity of thoughts running through his head?

“Ah Wonshik, always the sweet talker. I’m glad someone is fake enjoying my party. Taekwoon has been in a dour mood since he arrived and has soured the entire party” Jaehwan complains.

“I haven’t even seen him since I arrived” Wonshik answers truthfully.

“I’m not surprised, considering his very-public-by-his-standards row with Hakyeon yesterday. They are probably not talking to each other anymore” Jaehwan scoffs. He raises an eyebrow and leans in to whisper to him. “The word on the street is that Taekwoon intends to give away Hakyeon’s Dior deal to someone else.”

“Who?” Wonshik asks, stunned at the sudden change. Dior is one of the most high paying brands under the Jung Fashion House and Hakyeon is their top model. If Taekwoon has taken a decision to take the deal away from him, then it means that Taekwoon has officially chosen someone else that he considers the best in his company.

“If you don’t know it yet then it is not my place to tell you” Jaehwan says, pulling away with a roguish grin. Wonshik scowls because this restraint is not from Jaehwan suddenly developing morals. It’s purely to torture Wonshik and he won’t fall prey to his scheme.

Jaehwan deduces his mood and decides not to push the matter further. “If you will excuse me, I have pretty ladies to romance” he excuses himself. 

“You’re gay Jaehwan” Wonshik calls out after him.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t smile and break hearts, love!”

And Jaehwan disappears into the crowd as well. Wonshik abandons the empty glass on the nearest waiter’s tray and decides to climb up the stairs to the deck. Maybe the saltwater air will help him focus.

Hakyeon seems to have the same idea as him because he is already present on board. His hand is stretched out as if to catch invisible rain. It’s drizzling slightly. Wonshik isn’t concerned since they aren’t too far away from the sea shore.

“I thought you were Taekwoon for a second” Hakyeon says absentmindedly. 

“Jaehwan says Taekwoon hasn’t been in much mood for socializing. I am inclined to believe our host” Wonshik replies. It’s a nudge for the conversation to move in the direction of Hakyeon and Taekwoon and he won’t say he isn’t curious, but pushing Hakyeon has rarely ended well for him.

“I’m afraid that’s my fault” Hakyeon admits. Wonshik raises an eyebrow at him.

“I’m leaving the Jung Fashion House.”

“What?” Wonshik asks, surprised. He almost loses his footing and slips on the deck but Hakyeon is quicker and has an arm supporting him. 

“I bet you’ve heard this as one of the many rumours flying around” Hakyeon says, bemused at the state of the world they partake in.

“Is this because of the Dior deal?” Wonshik asks. He needs answers. This is Taekwoon and Hakyeon. They aren’t the type of people to suddenly go from kissing each other in dressing rooms day before yesterday to falling out the next day.

“The Dior deal is one of my many obligations which will be reassigned, yes. I asked Taekwoon to give it to you” Hakyeon tells him.

“I don’t get it” Wonshik confesses honestly. Why? What more could Hakyeon want? He’s the top model at one of the best fashion houses in South East Asia.

“Sometimes you can get the entire world and still not be satisfied” Hakyeon explains. He has this habit of understanding everything Wonshik is thinking. To be an open book that can be read easily is unsettling.

“The Dior deal was Taekwoon’s way of stopping me last time. Unfortunately, this time my mind is made up” Hakyeon tells him.

“Where will you go?” Wonshik asks.

“I am heading to Paris for the summer fashion shows. I’ll decide on the rest later” Hakyeon tells him.

“So the argument yesterday that Jaehwan saw -”

“It was Taekwoon being distressed. He isn’t happy with my decision. He understands it but doesn’t like it.”

The drizzle slows down and the haze builds up. Sometimes, light of the brightest but distant stars are obscured by nebulae whose gravity can distort perception by the naked eye.

Wonshik questions just how much he understands of what goes in Hakyeon’s mind.


	4. two stars of three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the primary star is removed from a triple star system, the other two stars can go either of two ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW warning for brief description of sex in this chapter

_When the primary star is removed from a triple star system, the other two stars can go either of two ways._

_One - They may collapse into each other because of their own strong fields of gravity._

 

The night Hakyeon leaves, Taekwoon visits Wonshik’s apartment for the first time. They always met at Hakyeon’s since his was located conveniently midway for them. Or at Taekwoon’s under the pretext of business. This is a surprising move.

“What are you doing here?” Wonshik asks, when he opens the door. Taekwoon shrugs in response. No words are required because soon his things are put away and his hands are Wonshik’s hair and his lips on his neck and his intentions very clear.

“Taekwoon” Wonshik breathes out when Taekwoon nips at his neck and slips his hands down his shorts. Wonshik attempts to return the favour but Taekwoon waves his attempts off.

“Let me make you feel good” Taekwoon asks. Wonshik nods, biting his lips because Taekwoon is a taker and not a giver. The reversal of their dynamics feels good enough to make Wonshik stop questioning everything that is weird about the night.

Taekwoon is rough. He knows every way of making Wonshik hit a high and he puts them all to use. He sucks on his nipples, rubs the area just below his lower back where Wonshik is sensitive and hooks their legs together to hold him in place when he sucks him off. Wonshik is a mess within minutes and his eyes water from the intensity of that orgasm.

Taekwoon takes in how wrecked he looks and nods to himself before leaning over and kissing him softly. Wonshik sighs as he continues to pepper his jaw and neck with butterfly kisses, his hickeys tingling whenever his lips touch them.

“Was that okay?” he asks.

“It was amazing” Wonshik tells him truthfully. Taekwoon hums and puts his arms around him protectively. He closes his eyes and puts his head on Wonshik’s shoulder with every intention of never moving from this position again.

“You miss Hakyeon too huh?”

“Terribly”

Wonshik expected to be ignored because Taekwoon doesn’t like talking about his feelings. The admittance brings back every feeling of loneliness he has felt since Hakyeon told him about leaving.

“We live in the age of the internet. He won’t be too far or out of reach” Wonshik consoles him. The words are meant more for him than Taekwoon.

“He doesn’t like to live in the past. Now that he is gone, he is gone for good” Taekwoon tells him. He avoids his eyes and the way his jaw sets after the last syllable tells Wonshik everything about how he feels.

“Hakyeon won’t forget us” Wonshik insists. He can’t. He won’t.

Right?

“He will and honestly, I never expected him not to” Taekwoon says getting up. He collects his clothes and tosses Wonshik’s his. “That’s the kind of world we live in Wonshik. It’s fast moving and fickle and Hakyeon thrives in this chaos. That’s why he was so successful.”

“But he loves you. I know he loves you more than he loves me” Wonshik blurts out. Taekwoon is right but he refuses to believe him tonight.

“Love… has nothing to do with this. You love me too and when you feel unsatisfied like he did, you will leave too” Taekwoon tells him. His voice is devoid of emotion and the cold way he believes this statement is a fact of life sends shivers down Wonshik’s spine.

“Hakyeon left and you will leave and life will go on” Taekwoon says, putting his shoes on.

“Taekwoon” Wonshik reaches out to him but he steps back. He’s out of the door and gone before Wonshik can collect himself and his thoughts.

In hindsight, he should have stopped him. Or chased him down. Taekwoon has a habit of hurting before he can be hurt so he let Hakyeon go before and he leaves Wonshik first before his heart breaks completely. Wonshik knows this.

What he doesn’t know is how to fix this. After that night, Taekwoon refuses to answer his calls or reply to his messages. They never appear in public together or interact when they are at the same formal engagement.

Hakyeon messages him later to confess to the same treatment and Wonshik confesses how afraid and alone he is now that Hakyeon is gone and Taekwoon is too. Hakyeon tell him that he would always be here for him, no matter how many miles separate them and he cries for the first time in a very long time.

Was Hakyeon the one to leave and upset his world or was it Taekwoon? Wonshik deliberates on this sometimes when Hakyeon sends him multiple photos of desserts they can’t eat but like looking at anyways but there is radio silence from Taekwoon.

 

_When the primary star is removed from a triple star system, the other two stars can go either of two ways._

_Two - They may be flung so far apart that they have no recourse back into orbit._


	5. comets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once the center of his universe, Hakyeon and Taekwoon are distant comets now.

For the first six months that follow, Wonshik doesn’t see Taekwoon.

Jung Taekwoon retreats into his own shell, limiting contact and social appearances. After the first three galas skipped, media catches on and rumours spread. They range from Taekwoon resigning from JFH, a hostile takeover by stakeholders and unceremonial ousting to more creative rumours like cancer or rehabilitation for therapy.

Wonshik knows the cause for Taekwoon’s disappearance but he doesn’t have the heart to approach him. After all Taekwoon was the one who left Wonshik, making him feel used and cheated. If he doesn’t want his company then what right does Wonshik have to force it on him?

Over the next three months, Taekwoon shows up more at investor meets and charity parties to uphold his end of the company’s image. It’s corporate social responsibility and all business because Wonshik knows that Taekwoon doesn’t really give a damn about the cause unless it is related to baby animals he can pet. But he has to show up and make grand donations in good faith and he does so admirably.

The media turns a new leaf over in his favour, praising his generosity. Fan girls brand him the ultimate tsundere bad boy with a golden heart and the PR department plays into this image, accidentally leaking a picture of Taekwoon with a puppy or two on netizen forums. South Korea is once again in love with its most fashionable enigma and Taekwoon uses it to his advantage.

Before he realizes it, it’s almost a year since Hakyeon left. Disappointingly enough, life has carried on and the universe doesn’t give a damn about his love life or state of mind. What matters most to it, Hongbin jokes over beer, is the percentage of fat in Wonshik’s body and his waist to shoulder ratio.

If Hakyeon was here, he would laugh at it, Wonshik thinks bitterly. A lot of his memories about Hakyeon are bittersweet now.

In contrast to how abrupt the loss of Taekwoon’s love was, Hakyeon’s love withers away slowly.

In the first six months, they text frequently. Hakyeon talks to him about the struggles of starting afresh in Europe. Of the discrimination and bias and how draining it is to turn a blind eye to it and slap on a professional smile for the camera. How he has grown immune to the phrase ‘just not what we had in mind for the brand’ and no longer takes it personally.

Hakyeon also sends him pretty pictures of the places he visits. Sometimes it is a silly picture with cat whisker filters slapped on and Hakyeon’s face zoomed in close. (His cheekbones are more prominent now). Sometimes it is a simple picture of him sitting by the awning of a bakery and drinking tea. His hair illuminated by the golden sunlight. He looks good with curly hair. Maybe he found a better hair stylist who can actually perm his hair with a neat curl pattern….

But Hakyeon is Hakyeon and of all things Taekwoon was right about, he definitely does thrive in adversity.

Over the next four months, the heartfelt talks of despair turn to those tinged with hope. Hakyeon bags a photoshoot for Elle Norway. A deal from so far left field that no one sees it coming, much less being successful. But Hakyeon fits the image of an exotic warm skinned man strikingly sharply against the cold cityscape at night. After a best selling fifty page collection of the same, he catches the interest of different magazine editors across the continent.

Suddenly people want ‘the man with the alluring eyes who gazes directly into your soul’. Vogue describes him as the man who embodies the sort of untouchable image the youth want and said youth agree, buying into the accessories and shirts Hakyeon models. The jeans brand he modeled for months ago, suddenly sells out and the advertisers clamber to extend the sponsorship and modelling deal.

Wonshik isn’t jealous. He really isn’t. But all of a sudden Hakyeon is too busy to text because he is in a shoot to update his portfolio or at a party where he must socialize. His French is improving but he still needs to pay attention to fully participate in a conversation. He can’t be texting while he is at it. The time difference doesn’t help either.

Slowly but surely, the texts lessen. Wonshik no longer checks his phone. His conversations with other friends bubble over to the top, the chats with Hakyeon and Taekwoon buried away under notifications and newly introduced ads on KakaoTalk. He actually makes it to more movie nights with Hongbin and attends more parties that Jaehwan hosts.

Sometimes when he is feeling wild, he even takes trips by himself to countries in and around South Korea. It’s always a good boost to his ego when even foreigners turn around and look at him twice. He even muses what it would be like to get a puppy of his own. A french bulldog, he decides. With a funny name, just to watch Hongbin die on the inside while addressing it. Elbow or Butt maybe?

Once the center of his universe, Hakyeon and Taekwoon are distant comets now. His heart was fickle, mesmerized by the sudden appearance of the travelling star in the night sky. But out of sight and out of mind. Slowly but surely, Wonshik finds himself falling out of love.


	6. brown dwarf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the last of the energy in a white dwarf collapses, it turns to a brown dwarf. A lost heavenly body that eventually cools due to lack of fuel left in the core for it to burn bright.

Hakyeon picks up a magazine from the stand as he waits for the boarding announcement. The wait at the airport is longer than the duration of the flight from Tokyo to Incheon, no thanks to immigration. His boredom however is not the reason he picks up this specific men’s fashion magazine. The silhouette on the cover is recognizable and he’ll be damned if he has ever forgotten.

All across the cover of Maps Magazine, Volume 130, is his Kim Wonshik.

He recognizes him because he would recognize him anywhere. He knows that tilt of neck intimately and can audibly recall the way he would sound when Hakyeon kissed it. 

Or used to. It’s been too long since he has seen Wonshik in person or talked to him over phone. Even his texts reduced over time till they stopped completely.

He flips the pages. Maps always has multiple shoot themes per issue. He finds a picture towards the back of the same setting. Wonshik’s back muscles flex and his tattoo is on display. 

A tattoo… that’s new. 

Hakyeon idly looks through the credits. The names of designers, photographers, makeup crew are all new. Things have changed in the eighteen months that he has been away. 

Has Wonshik changed too? 

Refuting it is an exercise in vanity. Of course he has. Long gone is the young boy who Hakyeon made out with after fashion week shows. The thin lanky boy who could rival mannequins and yet drowned in the long drapey fabrics the designers put him in. Wonshik looks older, more well built as if he truly came into the body he long possessed and started owning it. Looks… happier in a way that’s organic and not simply a fake smile clapped on as a display of professionalism.

Maybe Wonshik is happier now that their complicated love life is out of the picture. Perhaps it really was good riddance when one of his rivals simply disappeared from the scene. Wonshik was always a top model and Hakyeon knows his presence or absence has nothing to do with him fulfilling his potential. But maybe with no distractions, Wonshik could work towards his potential.

It hurts to think Wonshik would be happier now that he is gone. But truth is the truth isn’t it?

Hakyeon whips his phone out and clicks a picture of the magazine. He thinks about sending it across to Wonshik along with a teasing message over how sexy he looks, just for old times sake and almost does. But then subsequently thinks better of it and deletes the messages as the airport announcement is made.

He does send another text to someone else he hasn’t talked to in a long time.

-

Taekwoon stares at the message that comes in as he waits for the coffee decoction to brew. 

His messaging apps are on mute to minimize the amount of spam he has to deal with. But the notifications are on for certain people and this notification is one he hasn’t seen in a long time. Also one he thought he would never see again.

His fingers work faster than his brain does and he taps on it before his mind changes. It’s a simple hi followed by Hakyeon telling him he will be in Seoul for the next three weeks. He stares at the bubbles that appear before the latest message and watches them disappear after a moment.

He knew about Hakyeon coming to Seoul for a while now. Hakyeon has a youtube channel that he vlogs on. One that he started almost two years ago before he left and one he updates weekly. Taekwoon isn’t subscribed to it but occasionally his mind wanders to it and he pulls up the latest videos to watch over dinner home alone.

Hakyeon mentions being excited to meet his mother and how he plans to visit all his friends and favourite places over the span of his visit. Taekwoon is not on the list of course, he never expected to be. And he has gotten good at suppressing the twinge of jealousy in his heart when he sees Hakyeon smiling lovingly at other people.

After all, he isn’t permitted regrets when he was the one who broke their relationship off.

It’s an idle thought he entertains in moments of loneliness. He knows he broke off his relationships with both Hakyeon and Wonshik for a good cause. Sometimes he feels weak and almost gives into the impulse to simply show up at Wonshik’s door or even Hakyeon’s. What trouble is catching a flight when you have a valid passport and spare change?

But they are better off without him. Hakyeon is a global star and Wonshik is a rising star in South Korea and Japan. Thailand too, for some reason. Perhaps he should trouble his marketing team to look into expansion and possible markets in and around South Korea later. His fashion brand would benefit from the exposure, given their recent foray into accessible street fashion to capture the middle market.

Hakyeon’s message is forgotten as Taekwoon mulls over what the correct response should be and ultimately busies himself so he doesn’t have to think about it. He did it for the best, he chants to himself. The other two are happier without him.

-

“Are models allowed to get so many tattoos?” the artist asks in amusement as he wipes away a round of ink and needles in more of the design.

“Models are allowed to do whatever they like” Wonshik replies. 

The artist hums in response. “I don’t get a lot of models as clients. Neither do any of the other artists I know” he tells Wonshik.

“What are most of your clientele like?” Wonshik asks. 

He has no reason for the small talk but the man, Sanghyuk is easy to talk to. Easy on the eyes too, Hongbin teased him. But Wonshik isn’t going to focus on that. Han Sanghyuk is very good at what he does and Wonshik intends to return to get more tattoos in the future. Embarrassing himself beyond repair is not on his to do list.

“Very diverse actually. It ranges from teenagers who have clearly forged their parent’s signature on consent forms to old people” Sanghyuk tells him. 

“Thanks to the clubs nearby, I also get to throw out drunk people who insist on getting names of exes tattooed across their butt. Very fun.”

Wonshik laughs at Sanghyuk’s sarcastic tone. Sanghyuk glares at him because the movement makes the process more difficult but it has no real bite to it. He suppresses a fond grin as Wonshik chuckles and goes back to focusing on his work. Wonshik tries not to notice how youthful and boyish his smile. Sanghyuk isn’t all that younger than him. Just taller, Wonshik thinks ruefully.

Wonshik’s phone chimes and he picks it up with his free hand. He exclaims when Sanghyuk wraps his knuckle for moving around too much and being difficult. Wonshik apologises and goes back to his phone. Hopefully it’s not more spam. He’s not interested in miraculously helpful weird kitchen appliances no thank you. He can barely cook as it is.

It’s Hakyeon. Wonshik’s heart drops and he freezes. The messages are deleted but it is definitely Hakyeon.

It’s been twenty months, hasn’t it? Wonshik shouldn’t remember the exact amount of time but he does.

“We’re almost done here” Sanghyuk tells him. “Ten minutes more.”

Wonshik hums, distracted by an oncoming panic attack. The thoughts in his mind are a storm of their own. Certain feelings rising to the forefront with a vengeance. It’s a unsightly mix of loneliness, bitterness and heartache. How is Hakyeon? How is Taekwoon? One is nearer than the other physically but both are so far beyond his grasp.

A wave of emotional exhaustion passes over him. He’s tired of the push and pull, tired of the way his heart flip flops and tired of how the fondness never seems to leave. Suddenly he is twenty four and stupid again, instead of twenty six and mature.

It’s so unfair. He knows that Taekwoon and Hakyeon loved each other more passionately than they ever loved him. And in the heartbreak warfare that followed, all he was was collateral damage. He shouldn’t have expected more. He shouldn’t have expected anything really.

When the last of the energy in a white dwarf collapses, it turns to a brown dwarf. A lost heavenly body that eventually cools due to lack of fuel left in the core for it to burn bright. Wonshik thinks his heart is very similar to that. Alone and lost with no star to orbit or light left to give to the world outside.


	7. pull of a star's core

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pull of the star’s core on the stardust around it is often very strong, with collapse into it only a function of time.

TVXQ's Something plays and Wonshik grins and does a little moonwalk while playing an air saxophone. He looks around to check if Hongbin saw and his best friend is still standing by the vanity table, grinning at his goofiness.

Ever since Wonshik learns that Hakyeon is back in Seoul, Hongbin sticks to him like glue. Wonshik doesn't even know how he found out. He strongly suspects Hongbin has been inducted into Jaehwan's gossip circle. But Hongbin knows and now he does his best to not let Wonshik be alone with his thoughts and Wonshik is eternally grateful.

This attempt leads Hongbin to the green rooms behind Seoul Fashion Week 2019. His best friend is out of his depth but acclimatizes quickly, getting into the rhythm of things and observing with wide doe eyes. It is a significant departure from peaceful studio shoots. Wonshik returns the favor and does his best to make him laugh. Occasionally, like right now, he succeeds.

He adjusts the ensemble and puts on a straight face when his cue comes. He has this. He has done it a million times before and can do it once again. He straightens his back and shoves his hands into his pockets and walks forward. 

The flashing lights are blinding and almost make Wonshik lose his way. But once his eyes adjust, the runway and the audience are clearer. The faces are familiar and Wonshik counts the socialites in the short walk till he comes across a ghost from the past.

Or a very physically present body of Cha Hakyeon, beaming at him with a mini camera in his hand. Wonshik manages a small smile his way before resuming his poker face and walk. He comes to the front and poses for the cameras. Maybe he's hallucinating, he thinks.

The flashes immortalize the way his jaw sets, willing the perceived weakness of spirit away.

-

"I'm going to get the car. I'll keep the engine running and you can make your escape and we'll just go home" Hongbin offers the moment Wonshik is back after the final walk with the designer.

"So he really is here then" Wonshik muses to himself in response.

"We don't care. We aren't thinking of him. What we are thinking of is what movies to watch. I propose Black Panther because Shuri is badass" Hongbin says hotly.

"How long do you think I can run from him?" Wonshik asks Hongbin, removing the necklace and bracelets. The ensemble is accessory heavy and the process takes a while.

"As long as you want to. Eternity if you need it" Hongbin suggests.

"You've clearly forgotten what Hakyeon hyung is like then" Wonshik laughs. "He'll find me eventually. Besides I think it's time I get that closure."

"It doesn't have to be tonight" Hongbin frowns.

"Maybe it doesn't. Maybe it does" Wonshik shrugs.

"The offer for a Marvel marathon still stands" Hongbin says, putting a hand on Wonshik's shoulder and patting it awkwardly. Wonshik smiles in return.

There is an increase in the chatter and both of them turn to see Hakyeon enter the room. The old staff greet him enthusiastically and Wonshik sighs. Hongbin leaves with another pat on his back but he can feel Hongbin’s stare on his back as he turns to Hakyeon.

“Wonshik!” Hakyeon greets enthusiastically. Wonshik returns the smile. There are too many people here. Perhaps Hongbin was right after all.

“I didn’t know you were back in Korea hyung” Wonshik says. The speech is informal but there is a wall between them and Wonshik intends to draw that line and maintain it. But it’s Hakyeon and Hakyeon moves into his space and hugs him with his arms trying to encompass him and hold as much as they can of him and Wonshik finds his resolve crumbling before the foundations even build.

“I had to come back, I missed you too much” Hakyeon admits. Wonshik bites his lip. Hakyeon’s tone is lower and he moves in closer but he isn’t supposed to say that line and feel like he means it. 

This is how it started the first time around. A shared secret, just the two of them with the world shut out and the warm look in Hakyeon’s eyes that sparked something in Wonshik’s heart.

“I missed you too” Wonshik whispers. It was the kind of intimacy Wonshik slipped into but never recovered from and falling a second time is somehow easier. 

“Did you meet Taekwoon yet?” Wonshik asks, when Hakyeon pulls away.

“It’s difficult to catch hold of him” Hakyeon admits. “But I did invite him for lunch tomorrow and I was hoping you’d like to join us.”

“I have a shoot” Wonshik lies. Facing Hakyeon has always been easier than facing Taekwoon. And Wonshik hasn’t forgiven him just yet.

“Dinner then. Might be easier since Taekwoon would have work all day too” Hakyeon reasons with himself. Wonshik commits to nothing when he hums. 

Hakyeon notices but doesn’t say a word. The pull of the star’s core on the stardust around it is often very strong, with collapse into it only a function of time.


	8. stellar reignition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the star dust is pulled into the star’s core, it gets hot and dense till it reaches ignition point and the nuclear fusion starts again. Stellar ignition gives new life to the star, making it burn brighter than ever.

Wonshik doesn’t understand how they end up here. Despite all that passes between them at the backstage of SFW, Wonshik makes up his mind to avoid Hakyeon. He knows physical distance is the only way to keep his heart safe because he now knows first hand what it is like to fall back into love with his charms. So he makes excuses of being busy, of not feeling well or avoiding common engagements and is successful for almost a week. If Hongbin was around, his friend would be proud of how well he was doing.

Till he crashes spectacularly and everything crashes and burns. It’s a quiet peaceful Thursday night with his favourite dramas airing on TV, when Hakyeon and Taekwoon both show up at his door.

Wonshik stares. Hakyeon stares back while Taekwoon hesitates, ready to run. Typical, he thinks because this isn’t out of character for either of them.

“We thought we’d pay you a visit at home since you weren’t feeling well” Hakyeon tells him.

“You didn’t have to” Wonshik says emotionlessly. In fact, he would prefer it if they hadn’t. But they are here and Wonshik can’t run from this confrontation forever. It’s a mantra he repeats in his head despite every fibre of his being telling him to leg it and never return.

He lets them in but the two men stand around awkwardly in the living room. Wonshik switches off the tv and catches Taekwoon glaring at Hakyeon who gives him an even look. This reminds him of countless times three years ago when Hakyeon tries to persuade Taekwoon and Wonshik into doing things they clearly think is a bad idea.

Just like this relationship. It’s a clean circle from the start to end, he muses bitterly. The three of them stand around, stewing in their own emotions. It’s clear none of them will make the first move so Wonshik does it.

“We need to talk” Wonshik says, pulling up a chair. He turns it around and sits down looking expectantly at Hakyeon and Taekwoon. Hakyeon follows suit and sits down on another chair pulled from the dining table while Taekwoon leans against the island counter and folds his hands.

If this is going to happen in Wonshik’s house then it will happen on his terms and he is tired of running from his feelings and tired of the other two running from theirs.

“You never apologised” Wonshik says, looking Taekwoon in the eye. In another universe and another moment in time, he might have felt more than resentment. He doesn’t now.

“I’m sorry. That was a shitty thing to do and I don’t expect you to forgive me for it” Taekwoon replies. Wonshik buries his head in his hand.

“And what about you?” Wonshik asks Hakyeon.

“I’m sorry for not handling this better. Both of you deserved to know I was leaving earlier and not find out the way you did” Hakyeon replies.

“I can’t forgive the two of you. I don’t want to forgive you both” Wonshik tells them honestly. Hakyeon starts but a glare from Wonshik silences him. 

“Taekwoon, Hakyeon left us but I was right here. And Hakyeon, you promised to stay in touch but you broke the promise and cast us aside like we were nothing.”

“That was my fault and I apologize” Hakyeon says, sorry and embarrassed. “I shouldn’t have done that and I have no excuses for it.”

“Taekwoon?”

“You were always going to leave. Both of you were. Hakyeon just happened to be the first to do it” Taekwoon explains.

“It didn’t magically make what you did right.”

“I know but I don’t know how to correct it now. That last two years of our life our gone forever and I can’t bring them back or change them.”

“Start by correcting the present and the future then” Hakyeon speaks up. His eyes are glossy and Wonshik feels the same urge to simply cry.

“I’m sorry” Taekwoon says helplessly. 

Wonshik doesn’t react to it, only getting up to go pour himself a glass of water. It’s that familiar wave of exhaustion that he practically lives in. He gulps the entire glass of water down in one go. It makes no sense to be this sad over feelings that he was so convinced he had moved on from. And yet here we are.

Wonshik recognizes Taekwoon’s arms immediately when he embraces him from the back. Is it possible to suddenly have a thing and only then realize that he has missed it all along and living devoid of it? Taekwoon’s warmth is as unfair as all these feelings returning.

“Do you think you could forgive us, in the future?” Taekwoon asks, almost whispering it into his shoulder when he nuzzles in.

“I could never stay mad for very long. All you had to do was come back” Wonshik confesses. Now that all is said and done, his resentment has been pushed away by longing for what once was.

“We’re here now” Hakyeon promises.

“You return to Paris in two weeks” Wonshik reminds him sadly.

“Three weeks and I’ll fly straight to Berlin for my next shoot. I’m not going to Paris directly” Hakyeon tells him. “I want to stay here with both of you.”

“We can runaway to Jeju for a while” Taekwoon suggests. “It’ll just be the three of us.”

“We could, if you will ever let go of me” Wonshik jokes, when Taekwoon places his chin on the other shoulder to look at Hakyeon clearly.

“Never” Taekwoon declares. 

Wonshik can feel his lips move into a pout as he extends his hand to Hakyeon as an invitation to join the hug. Wonshik doesn’t mind being sandwiched between the two of them or the way Hakyeon kisses him just below his ear as he embraces him. Perhaps all his heart needed was closure and proximity to push away the negative feelings and fall in love all over.

As the star dust is pulled into the star’s core, it gets hot and dense till it reaches ignition point and the nuclear fusion starts again. Stellar ignition gives new life to the star, making it burn brighter than ever.

Like stardust and small heavenly bodies in a star cloud, Wonshik’s satellite heart is pulled in by the magnetic presence of Taekwoon and Hakyeon’s affections.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading this and listening to me cry all over Twitter while writing this T_T

**Author's Note:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/starryfics1?s=09) | [Tumblr](https://vixxscifiwritings.tumblr.com) | [CuriousCat](https://curiouscat.me/poojamk15)


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